The Nightmare Story! - Video Style .

Introduction - The Great Adventures Of Ah Bu Bu!

*picks up microphone*

H-harlo...? Tasting, tasting? Ish tis thing on...? *knock knock on microphone*

*microphone screechs*

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKK!!

AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! PAIN PAIN PAIN!!!! Stooooopid thing! I KEEEEL You then you know! Shit-tah, shit-tah!

*Insert hokkien vulgar words here*

Ahem, AHEM! *coughs loudly* AHHHHHH- POOO - TUEH!

*sniffs*


Harlo! My name ah, you know, the thingy that people call me one ah? My mummy give me when I was a small small boy the time.... now I am a big big boy! 43 years old!!! ..... or was it 34..... ah.... when was my birthday again ah? I forgotted. My daddy never tell me wan, cos he say what, don't want to get me present. I always wanted that My Little Pony play doll set but he never buy for me..... ):

Anyway ah, my name is AH BU BU!!!! Yes! Ah Bu Bu! Not Ali Ba Ba, or Bu Bu Sai..... but Ah Bu Bu! cos my beloved Mummy gimme one.... I love you mummy! You are SOOO hard working as the CEO of the toilet in my school.... you make it smell nice nice....

Ah..... I dunno what else to say for this thing eh.... this... this... Intro-vention.... or some shit like that lah. I dunno lah. My engrish not good okay? but at least I veh handsome. My mama told me so. She say ah, my eyeball BIGGG BIGGG one, like ping ping ball balls!! more piao-liang than all the super models in the world!! I always wanted to be a super model.... but then ah, they don't let me. I also dunno why.... my mummy says it's cos I too pretty le... I know this is true because my armpit hair is SOOOO shiney!!! Like biang biang one!! My sweat sweat acts like a hair-gel mah.... I should start my own hair-gel company... then can be rich rich...

but then ah, I too humble. I rather be what I call myself now, 'Middle-Class'. My house is square square and brown brown one... like the toilet my mummy works at... It is located under the papaya tree!!! So everyday I can dance dance around it, like those people do on TV! .... I am so talented. Once ah, my fren tell me that my house is only a box.... but then, I don't believe him!!!! He so stupid... my mummy say my house is a house... and my mummy is ALWAYS right... why else would she be CEO of the toilet harh??

I should tell you more about myself. As you know, I looooooove to dance!!! And I think I am SUPER good at it!! I should be in the national dancing team of super models!!! My whole boy is veh flexi!!! Everything I move, my tummy will go UP DOWN UP DOWN like a jelly!!! IT EVEN HAS THAT 'POOOT POOOT' EFFECT!!!! SO CUTE RIGHT?!?! I love my tummy...


Other than dancing, I also like to count my toenails.... they are so unique... brown brown one!!! with purple polka dots!!! AND THEY SMELL DAMN GUUUUD! Especially with my armpit water!!! Damn pretty like the rest of me!!! Sometimes I think this world doesnt appreciate such a pretty being like me.... they are just jealous, my mummy says....


Ah! Look at the time!!! It is time for my afternoon nap!! It is already... one, two, five, seventy-november.... Aiyah! SOMETHING O' CLOCK LAH!!! My math is no good... I retain in Primary 1 for five years.... I think it was because I was too smart for Primary 8....

but nevermind..... I have to go and pratice my 'pooooot poooot' dancing again.... I know you are saddy saddy to see me go far far away... but please join me in my adventures in the future!!! I Am such a star! Twinkle Twinkle in the dark dark sky!!! What issit called again ah...? Knight ah?

Bye byeeeee!!

Don't Do Drugs!

Write a random-ass story with the below sentence as your starting.

“The consequences of drug abuse were more serious than I/he/she thought…”

The probs of medicine abuse wuz more harder than it think... One day, when I wuz rolling down the heel, got one hairy hairy old woman. he smile and smile at me, and I smile and smile bak as I look and look at his sweety armpit as it drip yellorwer colur water... he look at me with his pretty pretty face and shake shake his bushy bushy face and smile and smile more at me. I told him to stop whacking around the bush and tell him what she want. "Xiao uncle, what do you wnat from herrrr?" I ask, still rolling down the heel. "Orh. I want you to makan this medicine." said the old woman, rolling down the potatoe with me. Never in my 6 year old life have I ever heard anything so cool. So I ate the penadol and went high high. I could never fly before but now I could. so I went to the place where I wanted to fly the most and flew to the celieng and my head come off. stupad fan.

But then arh, suddenly ah, two minutes later, I become black black one... my teeth become like elephant teeth liddat and I could no longer roll... instead, I must fly everywhere. and it is velli hard for me to go and pee. my pee was purple in colur and i could not shit anymore.... I was so scared scared so I went finishing in the swimming pool and caught a flying shark. so the flying shark and me fly and fly everywhere. Then my uncle go and scold me, say I do not roll and roll but fly and fly.... I velli scared say got one hairy hairy preeety guy say I must eat penadol and I say he is velli cool. so I eat lor. He give me a slap to my armpit and call me stupid stupid boy. but I cry and cry and say I am a girl. Then i go to my own toilet and cry and cry somemore, staring at me purple colur pee. It was so comforting because it smile and smile at me.

The next day, I tell the old uncle that I love him but I cannot eat anymore candy called penadol... cos it make me fart. So now, my pee is not purple colur anymore and I do not fly and fly and fly... instead I like rolling down the carrot... uncle say I am a guud guud girl and I happy and happy so I kiss the fan. and found my head. however, my swollen buttside tells me I still miss the old old woman. cos she is so cool.

Never take medicine again!!! BE LAMEEEE!!! (and you will always find your head)